A deep desire, built up and unpacked again from longing–

I started to nurture it, but instead fell,

down that rabbit hole

all darkness and earth like the black of shuttered eyes.

I want that void, absent of touch, where the murky bottom of the lake reaches hold

of my toes, and takes me to serene silence

where I can breathe. Alone.

Alone just means that you can play in your head.

That’s what 6 year old me would have said.

I want to stay in that dreamscape with the trees, creeks, cemeteries, and toads.

Because no one can leave you behind when you’re alone.

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